A little more than a year ago, we began the journey of adoption. For most of that time, I have optimistically asserted that we would have a baby by Christmas. It is nearly Christmas, and we have still not received a referral; however, I feel confident we will hear something in the months to come (Frankly, I told Rebecca that it is still approximately 144 hours until Christmas, and although we may not have a baby home, we could still receive a referral in that vast expanse of time. Unlikely, yes, but divinely possible).
As we look forward to Christmas, I can't help but imagine the anticipation that Mary and Joseph must have felt as they made the trip to Bethlehem. It is probably not so unlike the anticipation we have felt over the course of the past several months as we look forward to a looming major life transition. So many things seem so uncertain, so unknown. We often think we have been left alone, to our own musings and devices, squinting into a crystal ball, trying to see the future. I have to wonder if this is how Mary and Joseph felt after they were visited by the angel. I have to wonder if they spent the next several months in some kind of state of disbelief, all-the-while trying to see ten, twelve, eighteen months into the future. They must have wondered how this visitation by an angel, an unexpected pregnancy, and the promise of a Savior's birth would change their lives. They too must have been puzzled by these new tastes that enticed their senses.
Every Christmas, we still anticipate the birth of a Savior. This Christmas, we also anticipate new lives with new roles and the coming of a small Ethiopian child, whose face we have never seen, who we are already coming to love.
Merry Christmas,
Ryan
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tis the Season
Ryan and I are still anxiously awaiting our turn for a referral. As far as we can tell, there are between 10 and 12 families probably ahead of us for baby boys. (We did not specify gender, but when you don't specify, you come up first on the boy list usually, as they are currently 4 full months behind on the girl list - they are referring girls to families whose documents were completed last December and they are referring boys to families whose documents were completed in March. 70% of families tend to ask for girls.)
Our final file was submitted in mid-May, so only the families of March and April (and maybe a family or two in May) stand between us and a referral. This still may mean 6 weeks of waiting or 6 months.
For me, I would say this has been a time of tremendous (and slightly unwanted) faith-building. I like to plan, and I like to be able to see what's happening next. Unfortunately with this process, that is simply not an option. So we take each step as it comes and we wait a little more. We are very thankful to be part of a great group of "waiters" and families who have already adopted who are helping to lead our way and who know what it means to obtain faith through complete lack of foreknowledge of what happens next!
As Christmas approaches, we are thankful for a few more months of "just the two of us" and anxious to meet number three.
Rebecca :)
Our final file was submitted in mid-May, so only the families of March and April (and maybe a family or two in May) stand between us and a referral. This still may mean 6 weeks of waiting or 6 months.
For me, I would say this has been a time of tremendous (and slightly unwanted) faith-building. I like to plan, and I like to be able to see what's happening next. Unfortunately with this process, that is simply not an option. So we take each step as it comes and we wait a little more. We are very thankful to be part of a great group of "waiters" and families who have already adopted who are helping to lead our way and who know what it means to obtain faith through complete lack of foreknowledge of what happens next!
As Christmas approaches, we are thankful for a few more months of "just the two of us" and anxious to meet number three.
Rebecca :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
6/12
This month marks 6 months of waiting on a referral since our dossier (file of adoption paperwork) went to Ethiopia. It also marks 12 months of actually being in this process. There is movement on the waiting list, as they are referring baby boys to families whose files were complete March 9th, 2009 and baby girls to families whose files were complete November 14th, 2008. Our file was complete May 18, 2009, so we have a little bit of a wait still left.
Here our are next steps:
1. Receive/Accept a referral of a baby.
2. Documents submitted to court. (This will occur shortly after we accept our referral, as the child's file is court-ready when we receive the referral).
3. Court date/ Child becomes legally ours. (Sometimes this requires more than one court date, but our agency is working very hard to make it only one).
4. TRAVEL - I'm sure I have said this before, but I'll say it again...I'm ready to travel!
Rebecca :)
Here our are next steps:
1. Receive/Accept a referral of a baby.
2. Documents submitted to court. (This will occur shortly after we accept our referral, as the child's file is court-ready when we receive the referral).
3. Court date/ Child becomes legally ours. (Sometimes this requires more than one court date, but our agency is working very hard to make it only one).
4. TRAVEL - I'm sure I have said this before, but I'll say it again...I'm ready to travel!
Rebecca :)
Friday, October 30, 2009
Families for Children
Our adoption agency has a blog of it's own to highlight what is happening in Ethiopia and other countries and to promote its work. While not every article seems worth mentioning, this one stands out.
Families for Children - All of Them.
Families for Children - All of Them.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Anniversary Blog
Today marks a special event for us, as Ryan and I celebrate three years of marriage. We have truly been blessed to have each other on the path thus far. I can't imagine a better friend with whom to travel.
Two days ago also marked five months of waiting on a referral from AAI. When we first began this process, five months was about the longest we imagined we would have to wait, but here we are, behind families who have waited anywhere from eight to ten months for a referral themselves. Our last check-in with the agency produced an answer of "probably another few months for you" and reminded us how annoying it must be to have families call who KNOW they have at least a few more months to wait who call just to hear it one more time.
Rebecca :)
Two days ago also marked five months of waiting on a referral from AAI. When we first began this process, five months was about the longest we imagined we would have to wait, but here we are, behind families who have waited anywhere from eight to ten months for a referral themselves. Our last check-in with the agency produced an answer of "probably another few months for you" and reminded us how annoying it must be to have families call who KNOW they have at least a few more months to wait who call just to hear it one more time.
Rebecca :)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
News Story
This news story features a family that has adopted through our adoption agency several times. At the end of the story, Julie Hehn tells what she likes most about her LARGE family. Her answer is something we would all love to say.
Hehn Family of 29
Rebecca
Hehn Family of 29
Rebecca
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Another
For someone who loves to write, I feel like I have done a lot of copying lately! Here is yet another.
One question many people ask when someone like us is in the middle of an international adoption is: "Instead of adopting, couldn't you send all that money to the birth parents so the child can stay in their first family and culture?"
Those who adopt probably ask this question of themselves twice as much as they hear it from others. Here is one adoptive mom's thoughtful response.
Why International Adoption and Not Aid Instead?
We are so thankful for a "virtual" adoption community that can express in words what we often find difficult to say.
Rebecca :)
One question many people ask when someone like us is in the middle of an international adoption is: "Instead of adopting, couldn't you send all that money to the birth parents so the child can stay in their first family and culture?"
Those who adopt probably ask this question of themselves twice as much as they hear it from others. Here is one adoptive mom's thoughtful response.
Why International Adoption and Not Aid Instead?
We are so thankful for a "virtual" adoption community that can express in words what we often find difficult to say.
Rebecca :)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Women and girls...
I borrowed this link from a fellow blogger. I have found so many New York Times reports that are irresistable. This is one of them.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
More Prep Work
While there is no news on the adoption front, there are plenty of signs in our house that preparation is still happening.
First, there are the many excellently crafted picture frames Ryan covered with fabric last week. These complement the home-made wall hanging created from part of an African painted cloth. Next, there is the fabric in my living room waiting to be sewn into baby bedding. Well, at least 90% of it is waiting to be sewn. Imagine that - it's turning out to be more of a project than I expected! ;) Lastly, there is the lovely smell of stain on the baby room wood floors. Fumes have engulfed our abode and the out-of-doors for the last couple of days, as we attempted this weekend to make sense of damaged wood flooring. This, it turns out, was much more successful than my continued attempt at sewing. The floors look good. Soon, the smell will dispell, too, just in time to polyurethane!
We are none-to-patiently waiting and trusting that God's timing is perfect. In the meantime, we have a few projects yet to be completed.
A dear friend said to me just the other day, "If you're waiting on God, he is purifying the results. He has already laid the path and set your way. You don't need to worry or fret at all!" This is encouraging, as it reminds me God still has work to do, in our baby, ourselves, our work, and our home, preparing us for a gift that has been carefully placed in space and time.
Rebecca
First, there are the many excellently crafted picture frames Ryan covered with fabric last week. These complement the home-made wall hanging created from part of an African painted cloth. Next, there is the fabric in my living room waiting to be sewn into baby bedding. Well, at least 90% of it is waiting to be sewn. Imagine that - it's turning out to be more of a project than I expected! ;) Lastly, there is the lovely smell of stain on the baby room wood floors. Fumes have engulfed our abode and the out-of-doors for the last couple of days, as we attempted this weekend to make sense of damaged wood flooring. This, it turns out, was much more successful than my continued attempt at sewing. The floors look good. Soon, the smell will dispell, too, just in time to polyurethane!
We are none-to-patiently waiting and trusting that God's timing is perfect. In the meantime, we have a few projects yet to be completed.
A dear friend said to me just the other day, "If you're waiting on God, he is purifying the results. He has already laid the path and set your way. You don't need to worry or fret at all!" This is encouraging, as it reminds me God still has work to do, in our baby, ourselves, our work, and our home, preparing us for a gift that has been carefully placed in space and time.
Rebecca
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Incredible Must-Read Story
An adopted teen goes back to Ethiopia to volunteer in the orphanage from which he came. Incredible.
http://aainews.blogspot.com/2009/07/return-to-ethiopia.html
http://aainews.blogspot.com/2009/07/return-to-ethiopia.html
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Those who entrusted
So many families are made as others are broken. Indeed the brokenness of one family often makes way for something new. Today my thoughts have been on the difficulty one mom (or possibly several) will face as she places her child in the hands of a stranger. Maybe that stranger will be an orphanage worker or a police officer. Maybe the child will be left in plain view where an unknown stranger will inevitably find and make a way for the little one.
In any case, if we are to adopt, someone else must choose adoption for their child. If we are to adopt, one parent or two must surrender their control, must surrender part of themselves. I have come to regard those who choose to allow their child to be parented by someone else as people of unimaginable strength and faith.
We cling so tightly to the known, even when the known is uncomfortable, sometimes unworkable, and often not best for our lives. We love the certainty of taking and keeping control. We love to "know" what lies ahead and to have some influence over it. What love does it take and what hardship for a mother to hand over - ultimately to God - the care of the one she has carried to life?
Ryan and I have been praying for our future child(ren) and the family situations from which they will come. Yet, today, I am struck again by the emotion of all sides.
In all ways, God has a plan. The person who chooses adoption for our child doesn't know that plan but acts in faith. We don't know the plan, either, yet in faith we have been preparing for this child. God, in his infinate wisdom, is allowing all to move to fulfillment even as we act blindly. This, indeed, is a miracle. Faith is a miracle. Adoption is a miracle, and I am so thankful we will be part of this miracle.
Though we go blind, we are not alone.
Rebecca :)
In any case, if we are to adopt, someone else must choose adoption for their child. If we are to adopt, one parent or two must surrender their control, must surrender part of themselves. I have come to regard those who choose to allow their child to be parented by someone else as people of unimaginable strength and faith.
We cling so tightly to the known, even when the known is uncomfortable, sometimes unworkable, and often not best for our lives. We love the certainty of taking and keeping control. We love to "know" what lies ahead and to have some influence over it. What love does it take and what hardship for a mother to hand over - ultimately to God - the care of the one she has carried to life?
Ryan and I have been praying for our future child(ren) and the family situations from which they will come. Yet, today, I am struck again by the emotion of all sides.
In all ways, God has a plan. The person who chooses adoption for our child doesn't know that plan but acts in faith. We don't know the plan, either, yet in faith we have been preparing for this child. God, in his infinate wisdom, is allowing all to move to fulfillment even as we act blindly. This, indeed, is a miracle. Faith is a miracle. Adoption is a miracle, and I am so thankful we will be part of this miracle.
Though we go blind, we are not alone.
Rebecca :)
Friday, July 10, 2009
July Un-Date
Updating is a bit over-rated in the adoption process because there is so little to say. After a very brief camping vacation in Arkansas, we came home to find our pre-approval letter for an orphan visa (the document by which our child comes home). This is truly the last "approval" step for us as future parents.
The rest of the process involves documenting our future child - who they are, from where they came, how they came to need a family. We expect to wait until sometime in September or October for any new information. We can check in monthly with our agency (and have already done so once), but until they get closer to you on the list, they only give vague information.
One bit of rumor is that the Ethiopian courts will not be closing this year. Typically, the court system closes from August through the beginning of October. During this time, families can receive referrals (our next step - picture and information on a specific child), but no adoptions can be completed. This slows down all adoptions, as the courts are flooded with backed-up cases once they re-open. We can only hope that rumor is truth and that the courts will remain open this year. This gives us a much higher chance of actually seeing the completion of our adoption before the end of the year.
Next Steps:
1. Wait for referral of a child with information and a picture! - Likely 4-5 months from our DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) date of 5-18-2009.
2. Wait for document submission to Ethiopian court. - A few weeks to a couple of months from referral acceptance.
3. Wait for our adoption to finalize in court. (Some people end up having multiple court dates. Finalization is NOT guaranteed on the first round). - Could go very fast, could take 6 months or more!
4. TRAVEL! - Approx. 3-6 weeks after our adoption is finalized.
The list is getting shorter!!! Just can't wait until we get that baby information!!! :)
On a much more personal note, I am definately ready to be a mom. I know it will be hard and present challenges we haven't even thought to think of...but if 18 and 19 year old single girls can figure it out, I am confident Ryan and I can make it work!
Waiting - But not TOO anxiously
Rebecca
The rest of the process involves documenting our future child - who they are, from where they came, how they came to need a family. We expect to wait until sometime in September or October for any new information. We can check in monthly with our agency (and have already done so once), but until they get closer to you on the list, they only give vague information.
One bit of rumor is that the Ethiopian courts will not be closing this year. Typically, the court system closes from August through the beginning of October. During this time, families can receive referrals (our next step - picture and information on a specific child), but no adoptions can be completed. This slows down all adoptions, as the courts are flooded with backed-up cases once they re-open. We can only hope that rumor is truth and that the courts will remain open this year. This gives us a much higher chance of actually seeing the completion of our adoption before the end of the year.
Next Steps:
1. Wait for referral of a child with information and a picture! - Likely 4-5 months from our DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) date of 5-18-2009.
2. Wait for document submission to Ethiopian court. - A few weeks to a couple of months from referral acceptance.
3. Wait for our adoption to finalize in court. (Some people end up having multiple court dates. Finalization is NOT guaranteed on the first round). - Could go very fast, could take 6 months or more!
4. TRAVEL! - Approx. 3-6 weeks after our adoption is finalized.
The list is getting shorter!!! Just can't wait until we get that baby information!!! :)
On a much more personal note, I am definately ready to be a mom. I know it will be hard and present challenges we haven't even thought to think of...but if 18 and 19 year old single girls can figure it out, I am confident Ryan and I can make it work!
Waiting - But not TOO anxiously
Rebecca
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Fathers and Fingerprints
This Fathers' Day I have thought a lot about what next Father's Day might look like and what it will be like to be on the other-side of Fathers' Day. This morning, as I sang in the men's chorus at church with my own father, I thought about how different our family will probably look in a year and how wonderfully exciting and promising that is. I could never have imagined that fatherhood would be such an enchanting prospect.
Friday morning, as Rebecca and I hurriedly got ready for the day, we received a phone call from the immigration office to verify the contact information for our adoption agency. Two weeks ago, during our fingerprinting appointment, the fingerprinting technician (a title I have concocted for my own purposes) told Rebecca that she would probably have to be re-fingerprinted, as they were unable to obtain a clear enough digital image. When we received the phone call from immigration, we were informed that both of our fingerprints had passed and that we were (as of June 19, 2009) officially approved by the United States Government to bring to the U.S. a child of foreign birth.
We have now completed the largest body of paperwork for the adoption of our child that we will have to complete. It is remarkable to imagine that, as our documents are being translated for use by the Ethiopian Government, that our child may have already been born. During the next several months, as we wait for our referral, we will both try to imagine what our child will look like, what gender it will be, what his or her personality will be like. I suppose that the next several months will be much like the time frame in a traditional pregnancy when you await seeing the baby move in an ultrasound and await hearing the beating of his or her heart for the first time. The next few months will undoubtedly be filled with much wonder and more than a little excitement and anticipation. It is reassuring to know that sometime, in the not so distant future, we will receive a picture of our child - possibly the most incredible 3-D ultrasound we could receive.
Ryan
Friday morning, as Rebecca and I hurriedly got ready for the day, we received a phone call from the immigration office to verify the contact information for our adoption agency. Two weeks ago, during our fingerprinting appointment, the fingerprinting technician (a title I have concocted for my own purposes) told Rebecca that she would probably have to be re-fingerprinted, as they were unable to obtain a clear enough digital image. When we received the phone call from immigration, we were informed that both of our fingerprints had passed and that we were (as of June 19, 2009) officially approved by the United States Government to bring to the U.S. a child of foreign birth.
We have now completed the largest body of paperwork for the adoption of our child that we will have to complete. It is remarkable to imagine that, as our documents are being translated for use by the Ethiopian Government, that our child may have already been born. During the next several months, as we wait for our referral, we will both try to imagine what our child will look like, what gender it will be, what his or her personality will be like. I suppose that the next several months will be much like the time frame in a traditional pregnancy when you await seeing the baby move in an ultrasound and await hearing the beating of his or her heart for the first time. The next few months will undoubtedly be filled with much wonder and more than a little excitement and anticipation. It is reassuring to know that sometime, in the not so distant future, we will receive a picture of our child - possibly the most incredible 3-D ultrasound we could receive.
Ryan
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Electricity Situation in Ethiopia
The following is a re-post of a report found on the AAI blog www.aainews.blogspot.com. If you are inclined to pray, now would be the time to pray for rain in Ethiopia.
***********
The following is a post from Gail Gorfe, the AAI staff member who manages Layla House and raises her own wonderful family of 4 children in Ethiopia. The electricity situation is becoming increasingly dire.
***********
Power rationing and life in Ethiopia
Around the end of the February power rationing was started again in Ethiopia. Power rationing is done by the Ethiopian government to meet the energy demands of the country. Due to a shortage of power, the electricity is turned off to save energy. Most electricity is generated through dams and without enough water (and dams being built taking longer then scheduled) the problem continues to grow.
Back in February everyone was very annoyed with the rationing but as it continues annoyance is a very minor issue. We went from losing power for 8 hours twice a week, to 12 hours then to 16 hours every two days. As of this week it is now 24 hours every second day. This is no longer simply an annoyance, but a catastrophe for the economy and for many people. And it is not over. Rumors around town are suggesting it will be as high as 48 hours of no power and 12 hours with.
Losing power in your home is no fun, especially when you are used to the luxuries of life, like hot water in the house, a fridge and washing machine. Without power those of us with the luxuries are reminded of what the majority of Ethiopians live without every day. This does not make it any easier of course. Planning meals is harder, shopping for groceries because a daily job and even taking hot showers (especially with a large family) becomes a job of scheduling.
But the impact on the country is so much bigger. There are many small business that operate in Addis Ababa and throughout the cities where that small business provides the income for the owner and/or employees and supports a large household. Income is shared within families as unemployment is high. As power rationing continues, business close down and more people will lose their jobs, with little prospect of another one.
Small business like coffee shops, translation offices, secretarial services and so many more are dependent on power to operate and on days without power they cannot work, which is a big loss for a business that needs to bring in a specific amount of income to stay operational.
Larger business like restaurant suffer greatly too of course. A lot more time and effort is needed to prepare food and keep it fresh and many need to spend money on purchasing generators.
Government offices, banks and others also suffer great slowdowns with the power cuts. The work of one week is forced into a few days and people wait longer for things that otherwise take only a few hours.
Large factories, which provide needed items for the society, or sent products for export, and bring in the needed foreign currency, are struggling to stay operational and every day you read in the papers of another one shut down. Without sufficient power the large machines cannot operate and many hours of work are lost when the power is shut off. The government is even requiring some factories to purchase generators for their power needs or to be cut off completely.
Specific factories are currently still exempt from the rationing, such as Pharmaceutical factories, but if the power shortage continues even they will need to be included in the rationing, forcing them to become dependent on generator power in order to keep the power properly regulated.
From mid to late June until the of September is when Ethiopia has its large rains. It is the “Krempt” season. Over the past few years the rains have come as early as late May, but so far this year there have been only a few showers here and there. Rain is very much needed and once the rainy season it is fully underway the power issue will be alleviated.
Of course rain for power is not the only issue. Ethiopia has faced drought many many times in the past and if this years’ rainy season is late, there will be many other problems besides the issue of power rationing.
We can only hope and pray that the rains will come very quickly and life can return to normal.
***********
The following is a post from Gail Gorfe, the AAI staff member who manages Layla House and raises her own wonderful family of 4 children in Ethiopia. The electricity situation is becoming increasingly dire.
***********
Power rationing and life in Ethiopia
Around the end of the February power rationing was started again in Ethiopia. Power rationing is done by the Ethiopian government to meet the energy demands of the country. Due to a shortage of power, the electricity is turned off to save energy. Most electricity is generated through dams and without enough water (and dams being built taking longer then scheduled) the problem continues to grow.
Back in February everyone was very annoyed with the rationing but as it continues annoyance is a very minor issue. We went from losing power for 8 hours twice a week, to 12 hours then to 16 hours every two days. As of this week it is now 24 hours every second day. This is no longer simply an annoyance, but a catastrophe for the economy and for many people. And it is not over. Rumors around town are suggesting it will be as high as 48 hours of no power and 12 hours with.
Losing power in your home is no fun, especially when you are used to the luxuries of life, like hot water in the house, a fridge and washing machine. Without power those of us with the luxuries are reminded of what the majority of Ethiopians live without every day. This does not make it any easier of course. Planning meals is harder, shopping for groceries because a daily job and even taking hot showers (especially with a large family) becomes a job of scheduling.
But the impact on the country is so much bigger. There are many small business that operate in Addis Ababa and throughout the cities where that small business provides the income for the owner and/or employees and supports a large household. Income is shared within families as unemployment is high. As power rationing continues, business close down and more people will lose their jobs, with little prospect of another one.
Small business like coffee shops, translation offices, secretarial services and so many more are dependent on power to operate and on days without power they cannot work, which is a big loss for a business that needs to bring in a specific amount of income to stay operational.
Larger business like restaurant suffer greatly too of course. A lot more time and effort is needed to prepare food and keep it fresh and many need to spend money on purchasing generators.
Government offices, banks and others also suffer great slowdowns with the power cuts. The work of one week is forced into a few days and people wait longer for things that otherwise take only a few hours.
Large factories, which provide needed items for the society, or sent products for export, and bring in the needed foreign currency, are struggling to stay operational and every day you read in the papers of another one shut down. Without sufficient power the large machines cannot operate and many hours of work are lost when the power is shut off. The government is even requiring some factories to purchase generators for their power needs or to be cut off completely.
Specific factories are currently still exempt from the rationing, such as Pharmaceutical factories, but if the power shortage continues even they will need to be included in the rationing, forcing them to become dependent on generator power in order to keep the power properly regulated.
From mid to late June until the of September is when Ethiopia has its large rains. It is the “Krempt” season. Over the past few years the rains have come as early as late May, but so far this year there have been only a few showers here and there. Rain is very much needed and once the rainy season it is fully underway the power issue will be alleviated.
Of course rain for power is not the only issue. Ethiopia has faced drought many many times in the past and if this years’ rainy season is late, there will be many other problems besides the issue of power rationing.
We can only hope and pray that the rains will come very quickly and life can return to normal.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
We shall be thankful...
In Ethiopia, complications to the completion of adoptions and many, many other forms of commerce have been caused by a lack of electricity (due to a lack of rain). We shall be thankful, today, for steady electricity.
http://en.ethiopianreporter.com/content/view/1207/26/
http://en.ethiopianreporter.com/content/view/1207/26/
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Waiting...
It has been a while since I have posted in numerical order where we are in this process...so, to make me feel better and to give you an idea, here goes...
Next Steps:
1. Wait for referral of a child with information and a picture! - Likely 4-5 months from our DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) date of 5-18-2009.
2. Official advance authorization from the US Department of Homeland Security to bring our future child home. - Anytime
3. Wait for document submission to Ethiopian court. - A few weeks to a couple of months from referral acceptance.
4. Wait for our adoption to finalize in court. (Some people end up having multiple court dates. Finalization is NOT guaranteed on the first round). - Could go very fast, could take 6 months or more!
5. TRAVEL! - Approx. 3-6 weeks after our adoption is finalized.
It will go fast, I just am not sure if it will go fast like a lunch break or like high school.
Rebecca :)
learning patience every day
I really don't like paitence nor the act of learning it.
Next Steps:
1. Wait for referral of a child with information and a picture! - Likely 4-5 months from our DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) date of 5-18-2009.
2. Official advance authorization from the US Department of Homeland Security to bring our future child home. - Anytime
3. Wait for document submission to Ethiopian court. - A few weeks to a couple of months from referral acceptance.
4. Wait for our adoption to finalize in court. (Some people end up having multiple court dates. Finalization is NOT guaranteed on the first round). - Could go very fast, could take 6 months or more!
5. TRAVEL! - Approx. 3-6 weeks after our adoption is finalized.
It will go fast, I just am not sure if it will go fast like a lunch break or like high school.
Rebecca :)
learning patience every day
I really don't like paitence nor the act of learning it.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Another Link
I know I have gotten rather link-happy, but I can't help but share it when I run across someone or some group that is trying desperately to make a difference with their actions.
http://www.girleffect.org
http://www.girleffect.org
Monday, June 1, 2009
Great Video Clips
This is a great video clip on one family's adoption story. If you keep going, you could spend an entire day just watching amazing photojournalistic stories on the lives of different New Yorkers.
Enjoy!
http://nytimes.com/packages/html/nyregion/1-in-8-million/index.html?hp&hp#/may_wong_lee
Enjoy!
http://nytimes.com/packages/html/nyregion/1-in-8-million/index.html?hp&hp#/may_wong_lee
Friday, May 29, 2009
I am
The planner in me is anxious today...about adoption, work, life, the greeness of our grass, etc... Unfortunately (and fortunately) for my ever-positive husband, I am a planner by engineering (God made me this way). I am always planning and figuring. In fact, if you ask what I do most in life, it is probably figure. I am constantly running numbers in my head and on paper.
All-in-all, I want to know one thing - The Way - the way our adoption will come to completion, the way we will have time and finances to care for our new little one, the way we will both find fulfillment in our lives and careers, the way I will make it through the months and months of waiting without driving my dear husband to drink.
This morning, I was doing as I always do, blow-drying my hair and figuring. Putting contacts onto my eye balls and wondering.
"I just don't see the way," I said.
"I am the way," God spoke.
"What?"
"I am the way. You can't see the way because you are looking at facts and not looking at me. I AM THE WAY."
How, indeed, can one person be so stubborn?
Rebecca ;)
All-in-all, I want to know one thing - The Way - the way our adoption will come to completion, the way we will have time and finances to care for our new little one, the way we will both find fulfillment in our lives and careers, the way I will make it through the months and months of waiting without driving my dear husband to drink.
This morning, I was doing as I always do, blow-drying my hair and figuring. Putting contacts onto my eye balls and wondering.
"I just don't see the way," I said.
"I am the way," God spoke.
"What?"
"I am the way. You can't see the way because you are looking at facts and not looking at me. I AM THE WAY."
How, indeed, can one person be so stubborn?
Rebecca ;)
Monday, May 18, 2009
D.T.E.
The adoption process seems to be a process characterized by a series of beginnings, which culminate in yet another beginning - the formation of a new family. Today marks another such beginning.
Around 6:30 this evening we received an official email from our agency notifying us that our dossier (all of the paperwork we have so diligently been gathering)is in the mail to Ethiopia where it will be translated and processed. Among families adopting from Ethiopia, this is known as being "D.T.E.," dossier to Ethiopia. Essentially, this begins the official adoption process.
Each month between now and when our referral (the picture and known medical information of a child)is received we will be able to contact the agency for an update on the anniversary date of our D.T.E.. We hope to have a referral sometime after Labor Day, and to travel to Ethiopia sometime between December 2009 and Spring 2010. While this is far from a timeline, it does provide some framework in which to work.
In the beginning, when everything seems far off, this crude framework offers some sense of control and stability. Ultimately, the timeline is not our own. We will continue to anxiously anticipate seeing our child's face for the first time in a picture, and we will continue to anxiously anticipate holding our child for the first time.
We could not be more excited as we look forward into what seems like endless seconds, hours, weeks, and months from one beginning toward the next.
Ryan
Around 6:30 this evening we received an official email from our agency notifying us that our dossier (all of the paperwork we have so diligently been gathering)is in the mail to Ethiopia where it will be translated and processed. Among families adopting from Ethiopia, this is known as being "D.T.E.," dossier to Ethiopia. Essentially, this begins the official adoption process.
Each month between now and when our referral (the picture and known medical information of a child)is received we will be able to contact the agency for an update on the anniversary date of our D.T.E.. We hope to have a referral sometime after Labor Day, and to travel to Ethiopia sometime between December 2009 and Spring 2010. While this is far from a timeline, it does provide some framework in which to work.
In the beginning, when everything seems far off, this crude framework offers some sense of control and stability. Ultimately, the timeline is not our own. We will continue to anxiously anticipate seeing our child's face for the first time in a picture, and we will continue to anxiously anticipate holding our child for the first time.
We could not be more excited as we look forward into what seems like endless seconds, hours, weeks, and months from one beginning toward the next.
Ryan
An article and photos - too good to miss
An article worth your 10 minutes...plus.
http://contexts.org/articles/winter-2009/the-lucky-one/
Photos that will keep you coming back for more. No, I don't know the photographer, but I may before long!
http://www.elenarue.com/artist.asp?ArtistID=3576&AKey=6P346RXE
Thanks for reading.
Rebecca
http://contexts.org/articles/winter-2009/the-lucky-one/
Photos that will keep you coming back for more. No, I don't know the photographer, but I may before long!
http://www.elenarue.com/artist.asp?ArtistID=3576&AKey=6P346RXE
Thanks for reading.
Rebecca
Friday, May 15, 2009
Questions all of us have asked...
Here are a few questions posed by an adopting family to the director of our adoption agency. They are questions many of you have probably asked yourself but maybe not had the courage to ask us. I have reposted the questions and the agency director's response below. For your reference, "Layla House" refers to the agency's transition center for children in the process of adoption and "AAI" refers to Adoption Advocates International, our agency.
"This is AAI and other agencies may and probably do do
things differently.
1. Does money change hands in Ethiopia when children are relinquished?
AAI does not take relinquishments from parents. Parents must relinquish to an orphange, and technically Layla House is not an orphanage but a transition home to care for kids in the adoption process. So, by the time AAI gets kids they have already been relinquished. AAI would not accept children from any orphanage that knowingly gives anything to bio parents. This is against the law and not in accordance with Hague regulations, and wrong. It is not likely that this is happening, word would spread very quickly and the orphanage would be shut down.
2. The article (and the one in the NYT last week) seemed to imply that there are in fact NOT millions of orphaned children in Ethiopia. I have been told that there are. Because we do not live there, how can we know what is true?
I don't think that is any way to know for sure how many orphans there are. AIDS has had a huge impact, especially in particular areas, such as the truck routes though Ethiopia. Diseases such as TB and malaria cause children to be orphaned. Single parents can seldom raise a child which leads to abandonment or relinquishment. There are far more children in need that can be served by the current adoption system. This is why AAI has programs such as the orphan student programs in Nazaret, Sheshamone and Dire Dawa, and Dessie, to help orphan kids who can live with extended family and stay in school. AAI provides sponsorships for nearly 500 such children. We currently have 95 sponsors for the program and could certainly use more, $20 a month.
3. The articles implied that families often place children in orphanages so that they might be educated or for a boarding school/ childcare type of scenario. Can someone speak to this?
This is true some places, such as Mexico. I have not seen this in Ethiopia. I think there are so many older orphan children in need in Ethioipa that it is not likely that orphanages would be caring for kids who have family..That is just my guess.
4. Both articles outright said that infants are not who really need adopting. Again, can someone speak to this?
Any child who does not have a family needs one. Whatever age. Babies in need who are adopted do not become older children in need of families. So, babies whose parents have died or who find themselves unable to raise them do need adoptive families. In addition there are many many older kids boys over 7 and girls over 8 or 10, who are hard to place, because there are not enough adoptive families for them. Adopting an older child is not a good choice for many families but for folks who have had parenting experience, it can be a very rewarding and enriching experience. These placements do take a lot of AAI staff time. It would be "easier" to just place babies, but we have always seen our job to be doing as much as we can to help with the greatest need."
"This is AAI and other agencies may and probably do do
things differently.
1. Does money change hands in Ethiopia when children are relinquished?
AAI does not take relinquishments from parents. Parents must relinquish to an orphange, and technically Layla House is not an orphanage but a transition home to care for kids in the adoption process. So, by the time AAI gets kids they have already been relinquished. AAI would not accept children from any orphanage that knowingly gives anything to bio parents. This is against the law and not in accordance with Hague regulations, and wrong. It is not likely that this is happening, word would spread very quickly and the orphanage would be shut down.
2. The article (and the one in the NYT last week) seemed to imply that there are in fact NOT millions of orphaned children in Ethiopia. I have been told that there are. Because we do not live there, how can we know what is true?
I don't think that is any way to know for sure how many orphans there are. AIDS has had a huge impact, especially in particular areas, such as the truck routes though Ethiopia. Diseases such as TB and malaria cause children to be orphaned. Single parents can seldom raise a child which leads to abandonment or relinquishment. There are far more children in need that can be served by the current adoption system. This is why AAI has programs such as the orphan student programs in Nazaret, Sheshamone and Dire Dawa, and Dessie, to help orphan kids who can live with extended family and stay in school. AAI provides sponsorships for nearly 500 such children. We currently have 95 sponsors for the program and could certainly use more, $20 a month.
3. The articles implied that families often place children in orphanages so that they might be educated or for a boarding school/ childcare type of scenario. Can someone speak to this?
This is true some places, such as Mexico. I have not seen this in Ethiopia. I think there are so many older orphan children in need in Ethioipa that it is not likely that orphanages would be caring for kids who have family..That is just my guess.
4. Both articles outright said that infants are not who really need adopting. Again, can someone speak to this?
Any child who does not have a family needs one. Whatever age. Babies in need who are adopted do not become older children in need of families. So, babies whose parents have died or who find themselves unable to raise them do need adoptive families. In addition there are many many older kids boys over 7 and girls over 8 or 10, who are hard to place, because there are not enough adoptive families for them. Adopting an older child is not a good choice for many families but for folks who have had parenting experience, it can be a very rewarding and enriching experience. These placements do take a lot of AAI staff time. It would be "easier" to just place babies, but we have always seen our job to be doing as much as we can to help with the greatest need."
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
AAI Blog
Are you curious about the agency we are working with to adopt our child? Do you want to know more about humanitarian work in Ethiopia? Our agency has just put together a blog to keep you (and us) updated on their work.
You can visit them at http://www.aainews.blogspot.com/!
You are also welcome to visit their agency site at http://www.adoptionadvocates.org/.
Happy Hunting!
Rebecca
You can visit them at http://www.aainews.blogspot.com/!
You are also welcome to visit their agency site at http://www.adoptionadvocates.org/.
Happy Hunting!
Rebecca
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
One tiny form...
is lost in mail never-never-land. It will hold up the rest of the process for our file while we re-sign it, re-notarize it, re-authenticate it through the Secretary of State, and re-mail it to AAI. This is the true story of any adoption. Little things become big as we work through this process.
Today I was with a very good friend who told me a story of how she has marveled at the way God orchestrates changes in our lives through tiny movements unbeknownst to us as we scurry through. In the Bible, there is a story about a man named Joseph who was cherished by his father but not his brothers. He was sold by his brothers into slavery, yet through it all, God brought the right people to the right places to act out a great work. Joseph became a great man in the nation in which he began as a slave. He ended up feeding his brothers during famine and caring for his first family when they could not care for themselves. My dear friend recounted this story as she shared with me how wonderful it was to know that God is "behind the scenes" working a wonderful plan for us.
As we chase yet another state seal and another important form, I rest in the hope that God is orchestrating a very delicate and detailed process to bring about great beauty for our lives and the lives of those around us.
Just a few days ago, I was a bit discouraged and wondered truly if Ryan and I have the faith this process requires. Indeed, at the time, I felt we did NOT have the faith needed. This verse which has been fairly meaningless to this point became a source of God's answer to me in that moment.
Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
God does not begin with "if you have enough faith, let the children come..." He simply asks us to stand out of the way of progress for those to whom the kingdom belongs.
Rebecca
Today I was with a very good friend who told me a story of how she has marveled at the way God orchestrates changes in our lives through tiny movements unbeknownst to us as we scurry through. In the Bible, there is a story about a man named Joseph who was cherished by his father but not his brothers. He was sold by his brothers into slavery, yet through it all, God brought the right people to the right places to act out a great work. Joseph became a great man in the nation in which he began as a slave. He ended up feeding his brothers during famine and caring for his first family when they could not care for themselves. My dear friend recounted this story as she shared with me how wonderful it was to know that God is "behind the scenes" working a wonderful plan for us.
As we chase yet another state seal and another important form, I rest in the hope that God is orchestrating a very delicate and detailed process to bring about great beauty for our lives and the lives of those around us.
Just a few days ago, I was a bit discouraged and wondered truly if Ryan and I have the faith this process requires. Indeed, at the time, I felt we did NOT have the faith needed. This verse which has been fairly meaningless to this point became a source of God's answer to me in that moment.
Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
God does not begin with "if you have enough faith, let the children come..." He simply asks us to stand out of the way of progress for those to whom the kingdom belongs.
Rebecca
Monday, April 27, 2009
ONE GIANT LEAP
Okay, "giant leap" might be a slight overstatement; yet, it perfectly describes my sense of excitement as I share that:
Our paperwork is only a few hours from being in the mail to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Service to get pre-approval to bring an orphan to the US.
AND
Our dossier (our WHOLE file of personal documents) is only a few hours from being in the mail to our agency!!!
The ONLY reason these things aren't in the postal system at this very moment is because I am waiting for Ryan so we can mail these things together (if it were up to me, they would be at the post office 5 minutes ago...).
What's next? WAITING, and lots of it.
Everything we have any control over is out of our hands as of this evening when we place those envelopes in their respective metal boxes (USPS and UPS).
Next Steps?
1. Fingerprinting appointment to complete US authorization for future child to come home.
2. Dossier to Ethiopia - about one month from now, our file should go to Ethiopia. This is when we officially get on the waiting list for a child.
3. Referral of a child with information and a picture! - Likely 4 months from the date Dossier goes to Ethiopia. (September?? Maybe a nice birthday surprise!)
4. Wait for court. - Likely 2-3 months after we accept a referral for a child.
5. Wait to pass court. (Some people end up having multiple court dates. Passing is NOT guaranteed on the first round). - Could go very fast, could take 6 months or more!
6. TRAVEL! - Approx. 6 weeks after we pass court in Ethiopia.
This has gone much faster than I anticipated and God has continued to provide everything we need to complete this process. We are so thankful to be on this journey and are learning ever more each day to walk (or LEAP!) by faith.
Rebecca :)
Our paperwork is only a few hours from being in the mail to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Service to get pre-approval to bring an orphan to the US.
AND
Our dossier (our WHOLE file of personal documents) is only a few hours from being in the mail to our agency!!!
The ONLY reason these things aren't in the postal system at this very moment is because I am waiting for Ryan so we can mail these things together (if it were up to me, they would be at the post office 5 minutes ago...).
What's next? WAITING, and lots of it.
Everything we have any control over is out of our hands as of this evening when we place those envelopes in their respective metal boxes (USPS and UPS).
Next Steps?
1. Fingerprinting appointment to complete US authorization for future child to come home.
2. Dossier to Ethiopia - about one month from now, our file should go to Ethiopia. This is when we officially get on the waiting list for a child.
3. Referral of a child with information and a picture! - Likely 4 months from the date Dossier goes to Ethiopia. (September?? Maybe a nice birthday surprise!)
4. Wait for court. - Likely 2-3 months after we accept a referral for a child.
5. Wait to pass court. (Some people end up having multiple court dates. Passing is NOT guaranteed on the first round). - Could go very fast, could take 6 months or more!
6. TRAVEL! - Approx. 6 weeks after we pass court in Ethiopia.
This has gone much faster than I anticipated and God has continued to provide everything we need to complete this process. We are so thankful to be on this journey and are learning ever more each day to walk (or LEAP!) by faith.
Rebecca :)
And I said I wouldn't be that crazy anxious person...!
Boy, was I WRONG. I have the adoption bug, and I can't make anything go fast enough. Indeed, I am twice as neurotic as I used to be about everything going in the right order and every answer being filled-in to perfection. The checking and re-checking of email for anwers to simple detail questions has officially begun! (I can't wait to see how nutso I become when we are just waiting for the referral of a child).
Rebecca ;)
Rebecca ;)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Another VERY small step...almost
We spoke with our social worker again today, and our home study has been faxed to our agency and a hard copy is in the mail to us. After four weeks of anxiously awaiting the completion of this step, it has nearly come to pass.
Several weeks ago we were notified that the individual to whom we originally gave power of attorney in Ethiopia is no longer working for our agency. Because the Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA) is unwilling to issue their letter (which must be included with all of the other documents before a family can pass court) without updated POA's we have had to re-do our Power of Attorney and resubmit it to the State of Oklahoma for authentication, a process that will take a few weeks.
We are continually learning (and relearning) what it means to be patient. Recently, when people ask how long the adoption process will take, I jokingly tell them "forever," and sometimes it certainly seems like it will be. Perhaps the most glorious thing about this process is that the timing - whatever it is - will be right.
Ryan
Several weeks ago we were notified that the individual to whom we originally gave power of attorney in Ethiopia is no longer working for our agency. Because the Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA) is unwilling to issue their letter (which must be included with all of the other documents before a family can pass court) without updated POA's we have had to re-do our Power of Attorney and resubmit it to the State of Oklahoma for authentication, a process that will take a few weeks.
We are continually learning (and relearning) what it means to be patient. Recently, when people ask how long the adoption process will take, I jokingly tell them "forever," and sometimes it certainly seems like it will be. Perhaps the most glorious thing about this process is that the timing - whatever it is - will be right.
Ryan
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Timeline
One of the questions we get asked frequently is, "How long will it take?" Here is a guide with approximate times...
1. Get official homestudy document from social worker. - Maybe 3 weeks from now.
2. I-600A to United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS): Just a form, kind of like doing your taxes. Lists basic info about us and gives them forewarning that we want to adopt. We have to wait on our homestudy before we do this. - Fingerprinting will probably be 4 weeks from when paperwork is sent...
3. Fingerprinting: The USCIS calls us to tell us we can have an appointment for fingerprinting. I think this is for visas or something. - comes back maybe 2 weeks from fingerprinting appointment?
4. Dossier to Agency: Everything goes together to be bound by our agency and shipped off to Ethiopia. This is TECHNICALLY when the process BEGINS. - One month to 6 weeks after our homestudy document is finalized.
5. Dossier to Ethiopia - about one month after it goes to the agency.
6. Referral of a child with information and a picture! - Likely 4 months from the date Dossier goes to Ethiopia.
7. Wait for court. - Likely 3 months after referral is accepted
8. Wait to pass court. (Some people end up having multiple court dates. Passing is NOT guaranteed on the first round). - This is when you start praying. Could go very fast, could take 6 months or more!
9. TRAVEL! - Approx. 6 weeks after we pass court in Ethiopia.
1. Get official homestudy document from social worker. - Maybe 3 weeks from now.
2. I-600A to United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS): Just a form, kind of like doing your taxes. Lists basic info about us and gives them forewarning that we want to adopt. We have to wait on our homestudy before we do this. - Fingerprinting will probably be 4 weeks from when paperwork is sent...
3. Fingerprinting: The USCIS calls us to tell us we can have an appointment for fingerprinting. I think this is for visas or something. - comes back maybe 2 weeks from fingerprinting appointment?
4. Dossier to Agency: Everything goes together to be bound by our agency and shipped off to Ethiopia. This is TECHNICALLY when the process BEGINS. - One month to 6 weeks after our homestudy document is finalized.
5. Dossier to Ethiopia - about one month after it goes to the agency.
6. Referral of a child with information and a picture! - Likely 4 months from the date Dossier goes to Ethiopia.
7. Wait for court. - Likely 3 months after referral is accepted
8. Wait to pass court. (Some people end up having multiple court dates. Passing is NOT guaranteed on the first round). - This is when you start praying. Could go very fast, could take 6 months or more!
9. TRAVEL! - Approx. 6 weeks after we pass court in Ethiopia.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Homestudy Complete
After a 24 hour clean-a-thon, the home study is complete. Our social worker, Earlene, did not peer into our closets, rifle through our drawers, or even conduct a white-glove test of general good housekeeping. In fact, I am now certain that the 24 hour clean-a-thon was completely unnecessary.
Earlene did spend just over two hours talking with both Rebecca and me about our perceived strengths and weaknesses, our thoughts on discipline, our own childhoods, and our motives for adopting from Ethiopia. We truly had a positively delightful visit. Earlene will take about three weeks to type a draft of our home study for us to review and for AAI to review as well. Once we have signed-off on any minor corrections, she will send us four official copies. One copy will go to the USCIS along with other documents where Visas will be issued for the adopted child or children. An additional copy will go with our Dossier to Ethiopia for each child being adopted.
Earlene also explained the mysterious re-adoption process to us during our visit. Through this process our child will gain U.S. Citizenship. Under Federal Law, if a child is seen by the parents prior to the legal completion of the adoption, they can be granted citizenship once they are physically on American soil. Since the entire legal adoption process will be completed before Rebecca and I ever travel to Ethiopia (and since we will not have actually seen the child in person), our child will not be granted citizenship until we have been home six months and have completed several post-placement home studies (which are already required by our agency), and filed a petition with an Oklahoma Court to re-adopt the child. Once re-adoption is completed, the child will be issued a Certificate of Foreign Birth that is virtually identical to any other domestically issued Birth Certificate. If we choose to make any changes to our child's name, that will be done as part of the re-adoption process as well.
We are excited to complete yet another step in the journey to become parents.
Ryan
Earlene did spend just over two hours talking with both Rebecca and me about our perceived strengths and weaknesses, our thoughts on discipline, our own childhoods, and our motives for adopting from Ethiopia. We truly had a positively delightful visit. Earlene will take about three weeks to type a draft of our home study for us to review and for AAI to review as well. Once we have signed-off on any minor corrections, she will send us four official copies. One copy will go to the USCIS along with other documents where Visas will be issued for the adopted child or children. An additional copy will go with our Dossier to Ethiopia for each child being adopted.
Earlene also explained the mysterious re-adoption process to us during our visit. Through this process our child will gain U.S. Citizenship. Under Federal Law, if a child is seen by the parents prior to the legal completion of the adoption, they can be granted citizenship once they are physically on American soil. Since the entire legal adoption process will be completed before Rebecca and I ever travel to Ethiopia (and since we will not have actually seen the child in person), our child will not be granted citizenship until we have been home six months and have completed several post-placement home studies (which are already required by our agency), and filed a petition with an Oklahoma Court to re-adopt the child. Once re-adoption is completed, the child will be issued a Certificate of Foreign Birth that is virtually identical to any other domestically issued Birth Certificate. If we choose to make any changes to our child's name, that will be done as part of the re-adoption process as well.
We are excited to complete yet another step in the journey to become parents.
Ryan
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
A Quick Update
Rebecca spoke with our social worker, Earlene earlier this week; It looks like we may have a date set for our home study in the next week or two.
It's good to know that the wheels are turning.
Ryan
It's good to know that the wheels are turning.
Ryan
Friday, February 20, 2009
My Wife has Pretty well Covered it but...
As we journey further into this process it becomes clearer that we may not be as good at waiting as we had anticipated (this will NOT come as a surprise to most of you, only us). As we are anxiously awaiting our home study, I thought I might provide a pictorial review of our journey thus far.
First, pictures of Rebecca, Me, and Mister Freud with the envelope containing our application to adoption advocates.
First, pictures of Rebecca, Me, and Mister Freud with the envelope containing our application to adoption advocates.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
One Bedroom Begins Baby Makeover
We had a slightly-long and very productive weekend. Our "baby room" (the one that is so tiny I'm not sure what else you would do with it) got a good layer of texture and a butter-cream colored paint. It really looks good. Now there is some touch-up to be done on the trim, a second, second coat on the woodwork, and a few baseboards to be painted and cut to fit all around.
We have a wall reserved for a crib, and we even spent a good part of the weekend looking for a crib. In the end, though, I decided I couldn't quite handle a crib just yet. It would just make me more anxious having a crib in a room waiting on a baby with a very INDEFINATE due date. We'll reserve this purchase for a little closer to the end result.
In other news...my husband is the best. He and the guys from our Sunday School class cooked up a very special Valentine's Day dinner for all of the ladies in our SS class on Saturday evening. They even cleaned up! Those who missed it missed out on one of the best Valentine dates ever!
Rebecca ;)
We have a wall reserved for a crib, and we even spent a good part of the weekend looking for a crib. In the end, though, I decided I couldn't quite handle a crib just yet. It would just make me more anxious having a crib in a room waiting on a baby with a very INDEFINATE due date. We'll reserve this purchase for a little closer to the end result.
In other news...my husband is the best. He and the guys from our Sunday School class cooked up a very special Valentine's Day dinner for all of the ladies in our SS class on Saturday evening. They even cleaned up! Those who missed it missed out on one of the best Valentine dates ever!
Rebecca ;)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
On Our Way to HomeStudy Land
We submitted our documents for our homestudy the beginning of this week. Once our social worker has all of the OTHER paperwork (that over which we have no control), we should be on our way.
Next Steps:
1. Homestudy: an interview with a social worker on how and why we are adopting (at least that's what I assume). Also known as a "home visit," where a professional makes sure your house can accomodate a child. Makes one wonder...."should we buy a crib? or wait?"
2. I-600A to United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS): Just a form, kind of like doing your taxes. Lists basic info about us and gives them forewarning that we want to adopt. We have to wait on our homestudy before we do this.
3. Fingerprinting: The USCIS calls us to tell us we can have an appointment for fingerprinting. I think this is for visas or something.
4. Dossier to Agency: Everything goes together to be bound by our agency and shipped off to Ethiopia. This is TECHNICALLY when the process BEGINS.
5. Waiting list...wait, wait, wait, wait...
6. Referral of a child with information and a picture!
7. Wait for court.
8. Wait to pass court.
9. Wait to travel.
10. TRAVEL!
So, who's ready for step 10?
Rebecca ;)
Next Steps:
1. Homestudy: an interview with a social worker on how and why we are adopting (at least that's what I assume). Also known as a "home visit," where a professional makes sure your house can accomodate a child. Makes one wonder...."should we buy a crib? or wait?"
2. I-600A to United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS): Just a form, kind of like doing your taxes. Lists basic info about us and gives them forewarning that we want to adopt. We have to wait on our homestudy before we do this.
3. Fingerprinting: The USCIS calls us to tell us we can have an appointment for fingerprinting. I think this is for visas or something.
4. Dossier to Agency: Everything goes together to be bound by our agency and shipped off to Ethiopia. This is TECHNICALLY when the process BEGINS.
5. Waiting list...wait, wait, wait, wait...
6. Referral of a child with information and a picture!
7. Wait for court.
8. Wait to pass court.
9. Wait to travel.
10. TRAVEL!
So, who's ready for step 10?
Rebecca ;)
Monday, February 9, 2009
We Rejoice As They (Hopefully) Sleep
While it is 1:00 in the afternoon here in Oklahoma, it is 3:00am in Guangzhou, where our friends are (hopefully) resting from their first day with their new daughter, Aimee. We rejoice with them and would like to point you to their blog. Please pray for Tony and Gayle, as they are away from their two children, Abbey and Alex to get their new daughter, Aimee, in China.
thethorntonfamily5.blogspot.com
Tony and Gayle, we hope you are sleeping well.
R&R
thethorntonfamily5.blogspot.com
Tony and Gayle, we hope you are sleeping well.
R&R
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Activity and Overview of Process
The last week has been filled with lots of activity as we have each gone to the doctor for a physical, obtained proof that we have no outstanding warrants or arrests in Oklahoma City, and had our passport photos taken times 4 (8 photos each!). We are so excited to be on this journey! I, for one, can't wait to be a mom.
Our next step in this process is a completed home study, which is done by a social worker here and later approved by our agency. We only have 3 or 4 more items to complete our home study application, and this part of the process should be under way. We expect to have our home study complete in late February, early March.
After the home study, we send a form to get pre-approval for an orphan visa. I hear this takes about 10 weeks...Then we put all of our newly gathered information (orphan approval and home study approval) with all of our other information in a giant file about us referred to as the dossier. Our dossier is currently about 80% complete, but the most important element (the home study) is, of course, still missing. The dossier will be the set of documents sent to Ethiopia!!!
Before I go, there are probably a few questions worth answering on this forum that we have not done a great job of addressing otherwise. Here are a few "FAQs":
How old will your baby be?
We told them we would take a child under age 2 but expect to get an infant between 4 and 10 months old.
Will it be a boy or a girl?
We figured we wouldn't get to choose this if we were birthing a child, so we "chose not to choose" and told the adoption we would take either. They typically have more boys than girls in care, so this means we are likely to get a boy. However, Ryan's mom Judy had a dream that we brought home a baby girl, so there is hope for either!
Will it be healthy?
We have asked for a healthy baby. Of course, what we consider routine and simple medical treatment here is not readily available there. We expect our baby to have no diagnosed chronic or debilitating disease (including HIV). However, it is not abnormal for children to come home with treatable respiratory illnesses, upset tummies, sometimes even parasites. All of these are treatable in the U.S.
How much does that cost?
Can anyone really estimate when they find out they are pregnant how much the bill will be? Much like any other process, there are always changes and unexpecteds with adoption. If you knew your child was going to spend his first two days in a hospital and it was going to cost more than expected, would you have chosen not to have the child? After your C-section, did anyone ask, "Did that cost a lot?" In the same way, uncertainty and individual variation makes this question impossible to answer. However, one thing we do know, it will definately be worth whatever it costs.
Can you not have children?
Good question. We don't know. We felt we would pursue adoption first. We think birth children are also in our future, but who knows except God?
Rebecca ;)
Our next step in this process is a completed home study, which is done by a social worker here and later approved by our agency. We only have 3 or 4 more items to complete our home study application, and this part of the process should be under way. We expect to have our home study complete in late February, early March.
After the home study, we send a form to get pre-approval for an orphan visa. I hear this takes about 10 weeks...Then we put all of our newly gathered information (orphan approval and home study approval) with all of our other information in a giant file about us referred to as the dossier. Our dossier is currently about 80% complete, but the most important element (the home study) is, of course, still missing. The dossier will be the set of documents sent to Ethiopia!!!
Before I go, there are probably a few questions worth answering on this forum that we have not done a great job of addressing otherwise. Here are a few "FAQs":
How old will your baby be?
We told them we would take a child under age 2 but expect to get an infant between 4 and 10 months old.
Will it be a boy or a girl?
We figured we wouldn't get to choose this if we were birthing a child, so we "chose not to choose" and told the adoption we would take either. They typically have more boys than girls in care, so this means we are likely to get a boy. However, Ryan's mom Judy had a dream that we brought home a baby girl, so there is hope for either!
Will it be healthy?
We have asked for a healthy baby. Of course, what we consider routine and simple medical treatment here is not readily available there. We expect our baby to have no diagnosed chronic or debilitating disease (including HIV). However, it is not abnormal for children to come home with treatable respiratory illnesses, upset tummies, sometimes even parasites. All of these are treatable in the U.S.
How much does that cost?
Can anyone really estimate when they find out they are pregnant how much the bill will be? Much like any other process, there are always changes and unexpecteds with adoption. If you knew your child was going to spend his first two days in a hospital and it was going to cost more than expected, would you have chosen not to have the child? After your C-section, did anyone ask, "Did that cost a lot?" In the same way, uncertainty and individual variation makes this question impossible to answer. However, one thing we do know, it will definately be worth whatever it costs.
Can you not have children?
Good question. We don't know. We felt we would pursue adoption first. We think birth children are also in our future, but who knows except God?
Rebecca ;)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Book Recommendation
We have two sets of friends who are each connected to a couple named Josh and Amy Bottomly, who just wrote a book that is now available through their website. We haven't read it yet, but it is supposed to be excellent. It is the story of their relationship, marriage, struggle with infertility and decision to adopt their son from Ethiopia. Here’s the website info if you are interested in ordering. Proceeds from book sales are going to fund their next adoption of a little girl from Ethiopia later this year.
www.fromashestoafrica.com
Rebecca :)
www.fromashestoafrica.com
Rebecca :)
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Thank yous
We received a little blessing in the mail today - a card from a friend who will (for now) go unnamed. The card is yellow with tiny pink and blue baby items floating around words of excitement and congratulations. This, I believe, is our very first baby card, and something we will treasure for years to come. It reminds us that when the paperwork is over and the blood tests have been run, there will be a child waiting on the other side to forever join our family.
THANK YOU.
Along this journey, we have friends who have combed with us through what appeared to be insurmountable paperwork and said, "Just start knocking things out - you could do this tomorrow!" THANK YOU.
At the bank, where I had to get a statement of our accounts and activity for the past year, I was helped by a young lady who was herself adopted. With total dedication to the task of adding 12 months of deposits while talking to me as I stood on the other side of the counter, she said, "This is kinda cool helping someone else adopt. You'll have to show us your baby when you bring it home." THANK YOU.
To those of you who pointed out multi-racial families to us in restaurants and told us we were doing the right thing and made a point to say at Christmas there might be one more next year...THANK YOU.
Rebecca :)
THANK YOU.
Along this journey, we have friends who have combed with us through what appeared to be insurmountable paperwork and said, "Just start knocking things out - you could do this tomorrow!" THANK YOU.
At the bank, where I had to get a statement of our accounts and activity for the past year, I was helped by a young lady who was herself adopted. With total dedication to the task of adding 12 months of deposits while talking to me as I stood on the other side of the counter, she said, "This is kinda cool helping someone else adopt. You'll have to show us your baby when you bring it home." THANK YOU.
To those of you who pointed out multi-racial families to us in restaurants and told us we were doing the right thing and made a point to say at Christmas there might be one more next year...THANK YOU.
Rebecca :)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Blogs for the Not-so-Blog-Savvy
In honor of the New Years letters being mailed yesterday, and thus the official unveiling of the blog, I though this might be a good time give a brief explanation of how a blog works for those of you who are first-timers.
1. The most current post will appear at the top of the page. Previous posts will be listed in reverse order from the top down.
2. If you wish to see earlier posts (posts that do not display on the first page of the blog), you will find links to the earlier post, organized by month, on the bottom left hand column. Simply click and you will be taken to earlier entries.
3. For you reference, Rebecca and I have signed the bottom of each of our posts.
We look forward to you following this journey with us and appreciate all of your support.
Ryan
1. The most current post will appear at the top of the page. Previous posts will be listed in reverse order from the top down.
2. If you wish to see earlier posts (posts that do not display on the first page of the blog), you will find links to the earlier post, organized by month, on the bottom left hand column. Simply click and you will be taken to earlier entries.
3. For you reference, Rebecca and I have signed the bottom of each of our posts.
We look forward to you following this journey with us and appreciate all of your support.
Ryan
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