Will We Make The Cut-Off?

This is the question in our house this week regarding our adoption.

April 18th marked 11 months of waiting-list time for us, and May 9th marks the implementation date of a new requirement in Ethiopia that adoptive parents appear at the adoption court hearing. Anyone who has a referral and whose file is submitted to the court (to receive a hearing date) before May 9th will not have to travel for the hearing. Anyone whose adoption is submitted May 9th or later will have to travel for the hearing. (This means TWO trips to Ethiopia instead of the one for which we planned.)

We are waiting and praying, waiting and praying. Of course, in everything, we trust that the timing and details will be just right, but we also know we WANT to have a referral and be submitted to court in the next two weeks! It will take an act of God in order for us to only travel once, but we aren't ruling out an act of God!! :)

We have enjoyed watching many new families form in the last few months, as most of the friends we have gained through this process have traveled to get their children, and several others will be on their way soon, including a special couple in our church.

Now, of course, as always, we're ready for it to be our turn!

In many other blog posts, I have posted "next steps," with no change really occurring in what should take place "next" in many, many months. Below, though, I have posted two sets of "next steps," listing the steps should we meet the looming deadline and the steps if we don't.

Happy reading!

Next steps if we receive a referral and are submitted to court before May 9:
1. Referral
2. Submission to court & court date scheduled
3. Court date
4. Wait for embassy date to be scheduled
5. Travel for embassy date and to bring home child(ren)
Good news: Easier and Cheaper

Next steps if we are not submitted to court before May 9:
1. Referral
2. Submission to court & court date for documents scheduled
3. Court date for child's documents, living relatives, etc.
4. Pass first court date
5. Court date scheduled for us to attend.
6. Travel for court, meet baby(ies), see Ethiopia
7. Come home without baby(ies) - unless embassy date can be schedule reasonably quickly.
8. Wait for embassy date to be scheduled.
9. Travel to pick up child(ren) or have them escorted home.
Good news: Since we saw the child(ren) before the adoption was final, the child(ren) are automatically citizens when we reach US soil.

I personally prefer the one with the fewer steps! ;)

We'll let you know what we know in two weeks!

Rebecca

Another

For someone who loves to write, I feel like I have done a lot of copying lately! Here is yet another.

One question many people ask when someone like us is in the middle of an international adoption is: "Instead of adopting, couldn't you send all that money to the birth parents so the child can stay in their first family and culture?"

Those who adopt probably ask this question of themselves twice as much as they hear it from others. Here is one adoptive mom's thoughtful response.

Why International Adoption and Not Aid Instead?

We are so thankful for a "virtual" adoption community that can express in words what we often find difficult to say.

Rebecca :)

Those who entrusted

So many families are made as others are broken. Indeed the brokenness of one family often makes way for something new. Today my thoughts have been on the difficulty one mom (or possibly several) will face as she places her child in the hands of a stranger. Maybe that stranger will be an orphanage worker or a police officer. Maybe the child will be left in plain view where an unknown stranger will inevitably find and make a way for the little one.

In any case, if we are to adopt, someone else must choose adoption for their child. If we are to adopt, one parent or two must surrender their control, must surrender part of themselves. I have come to regard those who choose to allow their child to be parented by someone else as people of unimaginable strength and faith.

We cling so tightly to the known, even when the known is uncomfortable, sometimes unworkable, and often not best for our lives. We love the certainty of taking and keeping control. We love to "know" what lies ahead and to have some influence over it. What love does it take and what hardship for a mother to hand over - ultimately to God - the care of the one she has carried to life?

Ryan and I have been praying for our future child(ren) and the family situations from which they will come. Yet, today, I am struck again by the emotion of all sides.

In all ways, God has a plan. The person who chooses adoption for our child doesn't know that plan but acts in faith. We don't know the plan, either, yet in faith we have been preparing for this child. God, in his infinate wisdom, is allowing all to move to fulfillment even as we act blindly. This, indeed, is a miracle. Faith is a miracle. Adoption is a miracle, and I am so thankful we will be part of this miracle.

Though we go blind, we are not alone.

Rebecca :)

An article and photos - too good to miss

An article worth your 10 minutes...plus.

http://contexts.org/articles/winter-2009/the-lucky-one/

Photos that will keep you coming back for more. No, I don't know the photographer, but I may before long!

http://www.elenarue.com/artist.asp?ArtistID=3576&AKey=6P346RXE

Thanks for reading.

Rebecca

And I said I wouldn't be that crazy anxious person...!

Boy, was I WRONG. I have the adoption bug, and I can't make anything go fast enough. Indeed, I am twice as neurotic as I used to be about everything going in the right order and every answer being filled-in to perfection. The checking and re-checking of email for anwers to simple detail questions has officially begun! (I can't wait to see how nutso I become when we are just waiting for the referral of a child).

Rebecca ;)

We Rejoice As They (Hopefully) Sleep

While it is 1:00 in the afternoon here in Oklahoma, it is 3:00am in Guangzhou, where our friends are (hopefully) resting from their first day with their new daughter, Aimee. We rejoice with them and would like to point you to their blog. Please pray for Tony and Gayle, as they are away from their two children, Abbey and Alex to get their new daughter, Aimee, in China.

thethorntonfamily5.blogspot.com

Tony and Gayle, we hope you are sleeping well.

R&R

Activity and Overview of Process

The last week has been filled with lots of activity as we have each gone to the doctor for a physical, obtained proof that we have no outstanding warrants or arrests in Oklahoma City, and had our passport photos taken times 4 (8 photos each!). We are so excited to be on this journey! I, for one, can't wait to be a mom.

Our next step in this process is a completed home study, which is done by a social worker here and later approved by our agency. We only have 3 or 4 more items to complete our home study application, and this part of the process should be under way. We expect to have our home study complete in late February, early March.

After the home study, we send a form to get pre-approval for an orphan visa. I hear this takes about 10 weeks...Then we put all of our newly gathered information (orphan approval and home study approval) with all of our other information in a giant file about us referred to as the dossier. Our dossier is currently about 80% complete, but the most important element (the home study) is, of course, still missing. The dossier will be the set of documents sent to Ethiopia!!!

Before I go, there are probably a few questions worth answering on this forum that we have not done a great job of addressing otherwise. Here are a few "FAQs":

How old will your baby be?
We told them we would take a child under age 2 but expect to get an infant between 4 and 10 months old.

Will it be a boy or a girl?
We figured we wouldn't get to choose this if we were birthing a child, so we "chose not to choose" and told the adoption we would take either. They typically have more boys than girls in care, so this means we are likely to get a boy. However, Ryan's mom Judy had a dream that we brought home a baby girl, so there is hope for either!

Will it be healthy?
We have asked for a healthy baby. Of course, what we consider routine and simple medical treatment here is not readily available there. We expect our baby to have no diagnosed chronic or debilitating disease (including HIV). However, it is not abnormal for children to come home with treatable respiratory illnesses, upset tummies, sometimes even parasites. All of these are treatable in the U.S.

How much does that cost?
Can anyone really estimate when they find out they are pregnant how much the bill will be? Much like any other process, there are always changes and unexpecteds with adoption. If you knew your child was going to spend his first two days in a hospital and it was going to cost more than expected, would you have chosen not to have the child? After your C-section, did anyone ask, "Did that cost a lot?" In the same way, uncertainty and individual variation makes this question impossible to answer. However, one thing we do know, it will definately be worth whatever it costs.

Can you not have children?
Good question. We don't know. We felt we would pursue adoption first. We think birth children are also in our future, but who knows except God?

Rebecca ;)

Book Recommendation

We have two sets of friends who are each connected to a couple named Josh and Amy Bottomly, who just wrote a book that is now available through their website. We haven't read it yet, but it is supposed to be excellent. It is the story of their relationship, marriage, struggle with infertility and decision to adopt their son from Ethiopia. Here’s the website info if you are interested in ordering. Proceeds from book sales are going to fund their next adoption of a little girl from Ethiopia later this year.

www.fromashestoafrica.com

Rebecca :)