Questions all of us have asked...

Here are a few questions posed by an adopting family to the director of our adoption agency. They are questions many of you have probably asked yourself but maybe not had the courage to ask us. I have reposted the questions and the agency director's response below. For your reference, "Layla House" refers to the agency's transition center for children in the process of adoption and "AAI" refers to Adoption Advocates International, our agency.

"This is AAI and other agencies may and probably do do
things differently.

1. Does money change hands in Ethiopia when children are relinquished?

AAI does not take relinquishments from parents. Parents must relinquish to an orphange, and technically Layla House is not an orphanage but a transition home to care for kids in the adoption process. So, by the time AAI gets kids they have already been relinquished. AAI would not accept children from any orphanage that knowingly gives anything to bio parents. This is against the law and not in accordance with Hague regulations, and wrong. It is not likely that this is happening, word would spread very quickly and the orphanage would be shut down.

2. The article (and the one in the NYT last week) seemed to imply that there are in fact NOT millions of orphaned children in Ethiopia. I have been told that there are. Because we do not live there, how can we know what is true?

I don't think that is any way to know for sure how many orphans there are. AIDS has had a huge impact, especially in particular areas, such as the truck routes though Ethiopia. Diseases such as TB and malaria cause children to be orphaned. Single parents can seldom raise a child which leads to abandonment or relinquishment. There are far more children in need that can be served by the current adoption system. This is why AAI has programs such as the orphan student programs in Nazaret, Sheshamone and Dire Dawa, and Dessie, to help orphan kids who can live with extended family and stay in school. AAI provides sponsorships for nearly 500 such children. We currently have 95 sponsors for the program and could certainly use more, $20 a month.

3. The articles implied that families often place children in orphanages so that they might be educated or for a boarding school/ childcare type of scenario. Can someone speak to this?

This is true some places, such as Mexico. I have not seen this in Ethiopia. I think there are so many older orphan children in need in Ethioipa that it is not likely that orphanages would be caring for kids who have family..That is just my guess.


4. Both articles outright said that infants are not who really need adopting. Again, can someone speak to this?

Any child who does not have a family needs one. Whatever age. Babies in need who are adopted do not become older children in need of families. So, babies whose parents have died or who find themselves unable to raise them do need adoptive families. In addition there are many many older kids boys over 7 and girls over 8 or 10, who are hard to place, because there are not enough adoptive families for them. Adopting an older child is not a good choice for many families but for folks who have had parenting experience, it can be a very rewarding and enriching experience. These placements do take a lot of AAI staff time. It would be "easier" to just place babies, but we have always seen our job to be doing as much as we can to help with the greatest need."