Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas

As Micah's first Christmas draws to a close, I sit in the dim glow of the Christmas tree reflecting on what an incredible year it has been for our family. Today has been a truly remarkable day, and for none of the ordinary reasons. Over the past several days, Rebecca and I have reflected on all of the families that have been built and have expanded this year through marriage, birth, and adoption. It is truly overwhelming.

I could not be more grateful for how our family has grown and by proxy been impacted this year.

I have thought a lot about Ethiopia over the past several months. It is the only place I have ever traveled that I have missed upon returning home. Last night as we prepared to go to bed, I couldn't help but wonder what was happening as the sun rose over Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Again I felt so grateful to be the father of one of Ethiopia's sons. We will forever be connected to Ethiopia and its people. By that intrinsic connection, we have been (and I suspect will be) richly blessed.

In two short months, we will again welcome another McGee into our hearts and home. It is strange for us to have a due date. It is even stranger that it is probably accurate. For three Christmases while we were waiting for Micah to come home, I optimistically said "maybe be by Christmas," (little did I know in 2008 that I meant the Christmas of 2011). In February, Jonathan Ezra Bridges will be born, and our lives will again be up-ended. I can't wait. If having a newborn looks anything like bringing home a jet-lagged eleven month old, 2012 will be another year to remember.

Over the past year, our lives have been a whirlwind of adjustment. We’ve been awake the better part of several nights, and we’ve learned to sleep again. We’ve changed not only first diapers, but more than we could ever count. We’ve learned one word, then two, then thirty-two. We’ve mastered walking. We’ve cried a lot, learned things about ourselves that we never knew, and rediscovered some things that we had forgotten were true. We have experienced enormous blessings and we’ve made mistakes. We have had our lives completely undone by a 19 pound human being, and we’ve put them back together to create a life that is a true gift and a blessing.

Merry Christmas!

Ryan

Friday, August 26, 2011

Four Months Since Micah's "Gotcha Day" :)

Four months ago today, we landed in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and were met by a driver from Ethiopia Guest House who escorted us to our home-away-from-home for the week (and the place where we would first experience 25-hour-per-day parenting). We arrived first-thing in the morning, and we almost immediately settled in for a nap. Neither one of us had slept much on the plane ride, so rest was in order. We planned to wake up just in time for lunch. Wake up, we did, to the sound of a knock indicating that not only was lunch ready, but that we were due for a meeting at our agency care center in just under an hour. "Meeting? Really? We just got here? We haven't even called to tell them we're here yet!"

In Ethiopia, nothing happens in an hour, so it was about 2pm (not the 1pm mandate) when we arrived at Layla House to pick up our son. There was no meeting, but Micah was apparently "ready for us." I'm not sure exactly what they meant by ready, but I observed that it likely meant, "asleep in a sopping wet diaper with a bottle lying next to him." :) Ready, or not, picking up a sleepy, sopping wet, 11-month old, was our inauguration into parenthood. Changing the diaper and putting him in fresh clothing (which we brought with us for such an occasion) was our first act of parenthood. Actually, I think Ryan was holding a camera for that part, but who's keeping track?

Since then, there have been LOTS of wet diapers (many changed by Ryan!), plenty of times to gather up a sleeping child and plenty more to gather up an unwilling-to-sleep child. There have been many times we felt like we didn't have a clue what to do and many more, recently, where we were proud to find that in-fact we DID know what to do. The times when we know what to do are finally outweighing the times where we don't, and after a great deal of learning and a great deal of crying (on the part of ALL parties involved), we are much more "ready" than we were on Gotcha Day, for the challenges and joys of parenthood.

It has been a VERY, VERY good four months.

Rebecca
Happy mom to Micah, who just completed a shorter-than-desirable nap! :)

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Day 91

Today is the 91st day of our life with Micah in Oklahoma City (that means we've been united as a family close to one-hundred days). During that time, our lives have been altered in countless ways; however, our old lives already seem distant and surreal.

Our second trip to Addis Ababa was vastly different from our first. We stayed in a positively lovely guest house, to which we were more-or-less sequestered for the bulk of our trip. We were fortunate to share the house with another adoptive family who was adopting two siblings from our agency. We shared meals and spent afternoons talking with the house staff and begging for their recipes for doro wet and shiro wet (pronounced dora watt and sheero watt).On several occasions we shared drivers to the Monthly NGO Market and to Layla House, where Micah spent many of the first months of his life.

Micah was well cared for by all of the nannies at Layla, but two in particular took a special interest in him and were sad to see him leave. Toward the end of our week in Addis, the both said bittersweet goodbyes to him and told him they loved him in Amharic. It was truly beautiful to see and comforting to know that Micah had been loved while he was in care at Layla.

The flights home were smooth, by long. Out of Addis we flew Ethiopia Air, and were truly treated like dignitaries. We were escorted to the front of lines in the airport and other passengers cleared the aisle and sent us to the front of the line any time we took Micah to the restroom. Although we could not have been treated more graciously on the flight, 18 hours is a long time to sit in the middle seat of an airplane. The length of the flight was confounded by the fact that the delightful woman from Cameroon in the seat next to me did not seem too please to be sharing the aisle with two new parents and a very active baby.

We landed in Washington D.C. the day following the assignation of Osama Bin Laden. Needless to say, security was extremely tight and the TSA employees were even less friendly than usual. For some reason they were neither sympathetic to the fact that we had been in flight for nearly an entire day, nor to the fact that we had a new baby. Needless to say, our TSA experience was a little traumatic, in part because the ground still felt like it was moving and because we were experiencing some serious confusion about the current time zone and its implications on our lives.

Somewhere between Washington D.C. and Denver, I developed an upset stomach that I now attribute entirely to the sheer stress of knowing that we were bringing home a child, who was going to live with us, forever. My stomach was upset for about three days, at which time (either because I adjusted, or from complete exhaustion) it promptly departed. On our final flight we sat in the back of the plane across the aisle from a man who ad adopted internationally and a flight attendant who herself was adopt. It was wonderful to be surrounded by people who were not only excited, but understood the difficulty of travelling internationally with an eleven month old.

In our short time home, Micah's personality has grown and evolved. He's become more comfortable with his surroundings and his parents, he's become increasingly more affectionate, and he's napping and sleeping consistently. Most recently, he's taken to jabbering virtually non-stop. He clearly has thoughts and opinions that he is desperately trying to share with us. Once we've mastered the use of more discernible words, I'm sure we'll enjoy every bit of what he has to say.

Micah is also cruising around our furniture like a champion and he's walking holding on with only one hand. If he ever figures out that he can actually support himself and walk without our help, all home decor will be re-homed to four feet above the floor and higher. This may make for an unusual sense of fung shui in our home, but it is probably for the best.

Our lives are certainly different than they were four months ago, and I have sojourned a long way from the queasy-stomached fathered who walked off a commuter jet with a nearly year-old baby in his arms. Our evenings are quieter and our days more ordered and routine. For the most part we've enjoyed the change of pace; however, in the midst of this incredibly hot summer, I have on many occasions longed for the 8:00 p.m. ice cream runs of summers past. Micah has done outstandingly well, and we are so blessed for him to be part of our family forever.

Ryan

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Hi-Ho Hi-Ho Back to the Embassy We Go

Our adoption file, which at this point represents 2.5 years of our lives was re-submitted to the US Embassy with some additional documentation yesterday. So, we're back to where we were six weeks ago - waiting on the embassy to contact us with a YES you can come get a visa for Micah or no, not yet. :S

In other news, though, I finally found the perfect rocking chair, except that it needs to be painted. Surely it's a sign that the end is near...

Rebecca :)

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Patience, Do I Really Need Thee?

Pots, pans, and baking dishes cover our formal living room floor. Cheerios, granola, plates, mugs, and glasses cover our kitchen tabletop. We are deep into yet another home project - repainting our kitchen cabinets and obtaining new cabinet doors and drawers that roll in and out without leaving sawdust in the containers below.

We don't really want to play "Where's Waldo" every time we need a spatula or a plastic baggie, but a big, messy home improvement project is the only way we know how to pass the time while we wait for the illusive call that will begin our flurry of bag-packing and ticket-buying to return to our little boy. So, we paint with oil-based primer and leave our house for a few days, only to return to begin the process again with oil-based paint.

The chaos of our kitchen is but a foggy mirror image of the chaos we feel as we wait for this adoption process to complete. God is faithful, and it will be done on God's timing and not before. In the meantime, we won't be calling our congressman or informing AAI that Micah is almost one and is missing time with his new family (because I believe they already know all that). We'll simply pull on a fume-stopping mask and break out the mineral spirits and paint. Then, someday soon, we'll put our cereal and utensils back where they belong and maybe, just maybe, it will be time for Micah to come home.

If not, there are always the bathrooms...

Rebecca :)

Friday, February 25, 2011

About God, Faith, and Adoption

This morning as I was getting ready and hoping for news, I thought of how surprised our friends and family would be if this process was finally coming to a close and we could finally travel to bring Micah home. I thought of how so many of them would say things like, "Wow, that was fast! I can't believe they don't give you more notice than that!" I also laughed at the thought, recognizing that we have had YEARS of notice.

"Micah, you weren't a surprise to us," I thought. "We have been preparing for you for a very long time. No matter how sudden the news, you can't catch us off-guard. We have been on-guard waiting for you for a long time."

I wonder if that is how God thinks of us. I wonder if God looks at us in our sticky situations of life and says, "It's not a surprise to me. I've seen it coming for a long time. In fact, I see past it, too, and what I see is good." I wonder if God takes time to laugh a bit at us, recognizing that He knew who we were even before we did. "Child, you can't catch ME by surprise. I've been waiting on your arrival."

Rebecca

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Home...for a Little While

Last night as our plane touched down in Oklahoma City, I couldn't have been more excited to be home and closer to my own bed than I had been in twelve days. I was also a little sad to be deplaning without Micah. Not that we had expected any different; however, it was difficult none the less.

Last Monday we became the legal parents of the most perfect little boy. He is happy healthy, and developmentally on target. He is receiving outstanding care and is loved by his nannies. As Rebecca predicted, between us I had the most difficultly leaving Micah. During the ten days we spent in Ethiopia, I grew incredibly attached and I am anxious to bring him home. I have also found myself missing the sounds and smells of Addis Ababa. I miss teenage boys yelling from line taxis, the smell of Ethiopian food, the constant reverberation of traditional Ethiopian music, and macchiatos (yes, I know a macchiato can be procured at any Starbucks, its just not the same).

Addis Ababa and the people who inhabit it are wonderfully beautiful and unique. In many ways, I think we were surprised by how truly amazing both proved themselves to be. I have never been immersed in a culture so richly diverse and so oriented toward the service of others - especially outsiders. On more than one occasion we requested directions or asked about some particular item in a shop and we were personally escorted to the place about which we inquired several blocks away or a shopkeeper from several stores away with a better command of the English language was recruited to converse with us. Time and again, I was astounded by the complete generosity of the Ethiopian people. Their love for others and their love of their country is in many ways unmatched. I am proud to be the parent of a child with ties to such a beautiful culture.

Today I am glad to be home. I have enjoyed the sounds of American pop music and the taste of coffee brewed in my own coffee pot. I have also missed a little person, who I cannot wait to bring home. It has been a long journey, and it's not over yet, but we are again one step closer to being three instead of two. There is a lot of work that needs to be done in the next few months in preparation of Micah's home coming. In a short time he will be home and ours lives will forever be changed.

Ryan

Monday, December 20, 2010

On Our Way

Homestudy Update - done
Visa approval extension - done
Place to stay in Ethiopia - done
Tickets to go - done

The sights and smells of Ethiopia aren't more than a month away... While everyone takes Christmas vacation, we are saving those days for mini-trips within Ethiopia so that we make the most of our time there. Though we are going for a court date, during which we'll get to tell a judge that we do actually want Micah and that we have seen him in-person and look forward to bringing him home, most of our time will be "free" to roam around the country and learn as much as we can about Ethiopia.

I hope to report back that our adoption is complete and that we are simply waiting on a visa to bring the "wee" one home. All in good time we will find out how much waiting is left and whether or not we will be official when we leave the country. We can only hope, pray, and pack. :)

FINALLY!

Rebecca :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A Watched Pot Never Boils...

Neither does a watched email. Not that I want my email to boil, but it would be nice if it would deliver news of a court date SOON.

Christmas gifts at our house are nearly all purchased, and contact has been made with those who have not complied with our request for wish lists EARLY this year. We want to travel before Christmas for our first court date; therefore, we are shopping with that very intent. (What will I do in December if we don't have a court date? I guess there are always free lights to see!)

So, I'm back to hitting send/receive hysterically...

Rebecca :)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Referral!

We never expected that our adoption referral would sit quietly in our email inbox as we busily tended to work and school. People often say that the referral comes when it is least expected – and perhaps in our case in a manner that was unexpected. Typically, our email is checked feverishly throughout the day, in anticipation of an impending referral; however, last Wednesday, our email had lain dormant for nearly nine hours while the picture of a beautiful four month old boy waited to be discovered.

Inside our email inbox we discovered a brief description of our little boy and a picture of a chubby, happy, smiling baby being held by one of his nannies.

We know very little about his life prior to coming into AAI’s care last month. What we do know is that he was destined to be a part of our family and that we will be ecstatic to bring him home. We will call him Micah Thomas, a name that seemed fitting after we saw his face for the first time.

The next several months will be challenging as we again wait. Wait for paperwork from the adoption agency; wait for our home study to be updated; wait for a court date; wait for travel arrangements to be made; wait to travel; wait to bring Micah home; however, the next several months also promise to be filled with a rekindled excitement, knowing that there is a face, a name, a child at the end of a long journey – knowing that there are preparations to be made and prayers to be said.
Though the wait has been long, our journey to and with Micah has only begun. We look forward with fear and enthusiasm to the journey and the inevitability of change.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Updating Everything

The call has been made to our social worker, and a homestudy update will soon commence. Our agency has said we won't be home with a child by the end of 2010, let alone by mid-December when our immigration approval expires. So, we're on paperwork round two.

It's hard to believe nearly 16 months have passed since our file went to Ethiopia.

The good news is that being here, in the spot we wished to avoid, isn't nearly as bad as we imagined. We like each other a great deal, so another 6 months of just-the-two-of-us is a blessing we never expected to receive. :)

Rebecca

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Number One!



Friday morning while Rebecca and I were out we called AAI for what now seems to be a bi-monthly update. While on the phone, we learned that as of that morning we are officially number one on the waiting list for a boy and number seven on the list for a girl. Although this means that we will still be anxiously waiting for "the call," we were - and are - both extatic to be so close to receiving a referral. We could still wait several months to receive "the call"; however, it is nice to know that we are finally on top of the list.



Ryan

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Back to USCIS

It has been just over a year since we were first fingerprinted at the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) Office in Oklahoma City. In September our fingerprints will expire. This morning at the appointed times, Rebecca and I made our individual treks back to USCIS to have our fingerprints redone. The fingerprints themselves came and went with little consequence. As I sat in the waiting area, holding my assigned number and waiting to be called, I was struck by the sheer magnificence of being surrounded by individuals from all across the globe - many of whom spoke little English. What a rare experience to be in one's own country, and yet be surrounded by individuals who were so unlike one's self. The experience was both awe-inspiring and humbling.

At the moment, there seems to be little movement on "the list." In the next few weeks, the courts in Ethiopia will again close for the rainy season, not to reopen until sometime in September or October. In the meantime we will continue to wait (sometimes patiently, sometimes not so patiently) in anticipation of what is sure to come.

Ryan

Monday, July 19, 2010

Fourteen Months and Counting

Each day begins the same, with a speedy check of our "Yahoo Group," a giant online email group of adoptive or waiting-to-adopt parents working with our adoption agency. The question is always the same - Has ANYONE heard ANYTHING?

Thankfully, in the last few weeks, the answer has been "Yes." Two families have received referrals of baby girls. Others have received referrals of 4-5 year-old boys. This knowledge gives us hope that things are moving and that paperwork will eventually be completed on children already in care, meaning we will likely EVENTUALLY get a call.

In the meantime, we would love to say we have waited patiently, but it simply isn't the truth. Some days we have waited patiently. Other days we have waited VERY impatiently. Other days we have enjoyed being "just the two of us" a bit longer, taking full advantage of the ease with which we hop in and out of the car to do pretty much whatever we want.

Fourteen months have passed since all of our paperwork was complete for the adoption and in an envelope to Ethiopia. Twenty months have passed since our very first application arrived at our adoption agency. We have not yet been matched with a child, but surely we are nearing the end. Surely...

Rebecca :)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Enough...

The slim and easy-to-read book titled "Enough: Discovering Joy Through Simplicity and Generosity" (by Adam Hamilton) has been the subject of conversation in our house as we still wait for a referral (to be matched with a child) and for the last half of our adoption process to begin. The crux of the book is the need for contentment in and with our lives, just as they are. It focuses on financial health through the lens of choosing to live with "enough."

There have been many times Ryan and I have become frustrated with the waiting process and all of the questions that surround it. Many days it has felt like our whole life hinges on this one event, which seems to always be three more steps away. It is often as if our life isn't complete until this one thing occurs.

In this frustration, Ryan was reminded of "Enough" and began to remind us of it's importance. Now, just for fun, I tell Ryan, "You, my friend, are PLENTY!" :)

Rebecca

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

We Shall Wait

After a quiet week of waiting, it appears we will have to make two trips (or, as I am hoping, one longer trip). No one seems to know what this means or how it will be implemented, so we wait. My update email this week was uneventful, as there are still families ahead of us waiting for infant boys, and the whole system is moving more slowly. "I think we're getting close," was the best phrase in the response, and those of us with AAI know we've heard that one before. ;)

In this case, waiting is a good thing. We need time to regroup, time to see what the new rules mean exactly, and time to prepare to meet the challenge of this change.

God is faithful, and we are growing patience!

Rebecca

Monday, April 26, 2010

Will We Make The Cut-Off?

This is the question in our house this week regarding our adoption.

April 18th marked 11 months of waiting-list time for us, and May 9th marks the implementation date of a new requirement in Ethiopia that adoptive parents appear at the adoption court hearing. Anyone who has a referral and whose file is submitted to the court (to receive a hearing date) before May 9th will not have to travel for the hearing. Anyone whose adoption is submitted May 9th or later will have to travel for the hearing. (This means TWO trips to Ethiopia instead of the one for which we planned.)

We are waiting and praying, waiting and praying. Of course, in everything, we trust that the timing and details will be just right, but we also know we WANT to have a referral and be submitted to court in the next two weeks! It will take an act of God in order for us to only travel once, but we aren't ruling out an act of God!! :)

We have enjoyed watching many new families form in the last few months, as most of the friends we have gained through this process have traveled to get their children, and several others will be on their way soon, including a special couple in our church.

Now, of course, as always, we're ready for it to be our turn!

In many other blog posts, I have posted "next steps," with no change really occurring in what should take place "next" in many, many months. Below, though, I have posted two sets of "next steps," listing the steps should we meet the looming deadline and the steps if we don't.

Happy reading!

Next steps if we receive a referral and are submitted to court before May 9:
1. Referral
2. Submission to court & court date scheduled
3. Court date
4. Wait for embassy date to be scheduled
5. Travel for embassy date and to bring home child(ren)
Good news: Easier and Cheaper

Next steps if we are not submitted to court before May 9:
1. Referral
2. Submission to court & court date for documents scheduled
3. Court date for child's documents, living relatives, etc.
4. Pass first court date
5. Court date scheduled for us to attend.
6. Travel for court, meet baby(ies), see Ethiopia
7. Come home without baby(ies) - unless embassy date can be schedule reasonably quickly.
8. Wait for embassy date to be scheduled.
9. Travel to pick up child(ren) or have them escorted home.
Good news: Since we saw the child(ren) before the adoption was final, the child(ren) are automatically citizens when we reach US soil.

I personally prefer the one with the fewer steps! ;)

We'll let you know what we know in two weeks!

Rebecca

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Update

March 18th will make 10 months we have been on the waiting list for a baby from Ethiopia. It hasn't escaped us that had we sought children the traditional way, we would likely have a baby now. We have no regret for this decision, though, so we wait with as much patience as we have.

I only know of two others who are requesting the same age child we are who are also willing to have a boy. I know many ahead of us waiting on girls, but girl families seem to always wait longer than those willing to have a boy. The one incredible thing about being at nearly 10 months is that I haven't seen any family willing to have a boy wait longer than 10.5. That is no guarantee, but gives us hope that we're getting close. Families waiting on girls have waited as long as 15 months (indeed, one family is still waiting who went onto the waiting list in December 2008).

During my last check-in call, our agency director sounded confident we'd have a referral in the next couple of months. Hopefully she was being conservative and we'll hear something between now and the 18th (which is our official anniversary date). Of course, Ryan is hopeful for a referral for his birthday, which is on Monday. :)

You can bet I'll be calling for a check-in again on the 18th or close to it, and you can bet we will post as soon as we know anything.

Rebecca :)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Interesting Article...

Dr. Rick Hodes has served the people of Ethiopia in some capacity since the 1984 famine. His story is woven into Melissa Faye Green's novel, There is No Me Without You. Below is a link to a Readers' Digest article published in December 2008 that details his life and work with an embedded link to a beautiful photo montage. Dr. Hodes serves the people of Ethiopia in a remarkable way, I hope you'll enjoy this glimpse into the important work he does .

http://www.rd.com/your-america-inspiring-people-and-stories/dr-rick-hodes-helps-the-children-of-ethiopia/article104652.html

Ryan

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Number 7

With excitement I share that two of my "cyber" friends got referrals (matched with a child) of boys today!!! Both of these girls have been very faithful in their waiting and are excited in receiving such news. I have been grateful to share in their journeys, and so I am EXCITED to see them moving forward.

As for us, we are number 7 on the unofficial waiting list for boys. (We would be number 20 or so, I believe, if we specifically requested a girl). We have more waiting to do, but it is great fun to see progress and to celebrate with others.

As a reminder, here is the rest of our process.

1. Referral (matching with a particular child and receiving information about them)
2. Documents submitted to court
3. Court date (we don't have to be there, but if everything goes well, this is the day that our child is officially ours.
4. Embassy Date Scheduled
5. TRAVEL for embassy date and to bring back our child!!!

Rebecca :)